Am I in an abusive relationship?

There are many different types of abuse. Below you will find a list of some of the most common that we come across here at Behind Closed Doors.

Domestic abuse can involve of physical, psychological, financial or sexual abuse from a partner or a family member. Being forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened of your partner’s reaction is an indication of abuse.

Domestic violence and abuse occurs across society, it can happen to any person regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, wealth, and geography.

Most people can identify physical abuse but there are other more subtle forms. This page gives examples of abuse and control.

Examples of physical abuse

Hitting, biting, restraining, locked in/out of room or home, spat or shouted at, stabbed, burnt, throttled.

Examples of sexual abuse

Rape, forced to watch porn, openly cheats, withholds affection, sexually explicit films or photos without consent, sex on demand, passes STDs, any forced act, criticises sexual performance.

Examples of emotional abuse

Degradation, exhaustion, isolation, enforce trivial demands e.g. recook a meal, displays of total power, threats, distortion, occasional treats to cause confusion, unhealthy bond.

Examples of coercive control

This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour. Monitoring time, isolating from friends and family, taking control of every aspect of day to day life, controlling finances, monitoring through online activity, or using spyware to monitor movements.

Examples of economic/financial abuse

Run up debts, keeps money, prevented from working e.g. not allowed to go to work, no financial contribution made, all the bills in victim’s name, forced to give up work, forced to beg, false credit e.g. forgery of signatures, fraudulent claims

Examples of verbal abuse

Name calling, ‘put downs’, silence, blames victim for everything, false accusations, insulting you or your family, humiliating you in private and/or in company, leaving nasty messages for you.

Examples of cyber abuse

Checking phones, hacking into your own emails/social sites, putting app’s on systems which allow them to track you, access your messages, placing tracking devices on cars/bugs in homes.

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