Sexual abuse can include calling you sexually derogatory names, withholding sex or affection, forcing you to commit sexual acts or have sex against your will, forcing you to view pornography or sharing sexual stories or images about you without your consent.

Sexual abuse can happen within marriage. Marital rape can often go unreported and unrecognised within a marriage even by the person experiencing the abuse. There is a cultural assumption by some women that they have a ‘duty’ to satisfy their husband’s sexual demands with no reference to their own feelings. However, rape is a crime, even if you know the person.

Sexual abuse within marriage can also lead the person experiencing abuse to take responsibility for the abuse, or the attacker may act as if the abuse took place with the consent of the person being attacked, leading to confusion and guilt.

Getting Help

 

 If you have been raped make sure you go to a place where you feel safe. Try and keep warm and drink fluids.

 If you are not sure what you want to do, go along, with a friend, to your nearest Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) where you can have a forensic and medical examination (including tests for sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy). They can store the forensic results until you make up your mind whether to report to the police or not. SARC's have specially trained experienced professionals who can give you medical help and advice. They can also help and support you through the immediate trauma.

If you are not sure where there is a SARC you can contact the NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or go to the website at NHS Direct or contact your local doctor or Accident and Emergency hospital. If you can take a friend you can trust with you.  

If you decide to report to the police ... if possible:

Do not wash

Do not brush your teeth

Do not have a cigarette

Do not eat or drink

Do not change your clothes (or keep them safely to one side)

Try not go to the toilet

Do not clear up anything from the area of the incident.

Don't worry if you have already done some of these things. It is quite possible that there is still evidence to collect as well as injuries that can be documented.

Rape Trauma Syndrome is a recognised crisis response to rape or sexual assault and is a term sometimes used to help explain the impact of sexual violence. Immediately after being assaulted you may feel shock, denial, disbelief and a determination to carry on as if nothing has happened. In the longer term you may experience insomnia, nightmares or flashbacks. However, there is no right or wrong way to react to sexual violence. You may wonder if you should or should not be feeling a certain way, or how long you should feel it for, or whether you should be 'over it by now'.

Whatever you do feel is valid and right in respect to how you're feeling. Each woman responds in her own way. If you can talk about your feelings with other women it can help you to understand your responses